The Filmfare Awards are happening yay! Or as my friend Priyanka Manchandani likes to call it ‘Slimfare Awards‘ because she got a little too excited (don’t ask, the girl has issues). She also called Anjana Sukhani a clown who wore a gown, and Tabu a statue. As you must have figured, I’m watching the awards along with my chaddi-buddy and here are some nonsensical comments we made during the telecast!
Look at Ranbir trying to make this ‘entertainment’ song happen!What? Why is there no Shah Rukh Khan? Is that why Salman Khan has come?Ranbir is so thin! Everyone looks so thin! We have to lose 10 kgs by May now.They’ve got ‘heavy’ women to dance with Ranbir, what is this supposed to mean? Is that our future?This is really mean to the fat people of the world.
Does Rekha sit there throughout the year?Yay Karan Johar!I love him after the Roast, wish he could be that open here as well.Hahah I have a feeling Kapil Sharma is genuinely funny without those other characters from his show.Karan: “Mere mooh se smell nahi aati.”Kapil: “Kahi aur se aati hogi!”Told you! He’s awesome when he’s alone, without that Gutti and Dadi.Was this andar ka darwaza a sex joke? Whaaa?I kind of like this combination.
Omg Kabir Bedi! <3Why are you awwing? For Dolly Ahluwalia winning best costume designing?I don’t really know. I like her name. Dolly Dolly Dolly.Amrita Rao is still invited to all this?Yay! 1st award for Queen! Anurag called his ex-wife the best editor. So cute.Who Kapoor? Acha Arjun. There are so many of them yaar.You know my sister’s son keeps singing this Superman Salman fan song. He’s actually a Salman fan. Why is he dedicating everything to Salman? Is Salman winning a lifetime achievement award?*Hangover teri yaadon ka* everyone sings.
Akshay ka fan? Shraddha looks damn bored.Singham was a good movie. The sequel was whatevz. I saw part one when I was drunk at Gaiety.Maybe that’s why you liked it.
Mika Singh is wearing shades indoors.
Arjun we love you but don’t try Shah Rukh’s signature move.No wonder Aamir doesn’t come for these awards.Deepika is always awkward.Don’t say anything about Deepika.I think this is the first time Abbas-Mustan have spoken so much.Abbas-Mustan look so harmless, how do they make such twisted movies?
Wow, another dance performance so quickly?Eh Shraddha is cute and… she’s on a unicorn?A thestral?High horse?Oh my god. She got off her high horse.Hahah we’re hilarious.
Varun Dhawan is so cute!I like how they’re trying to create drama with Shahid and Varun.Aapne choda toh maine pakda.And they file FIRs against AIB.Salman looks relieved. (These kids can’t fight now that I’ve patched up with SRK).This night is a tribute to Salman. Filmfare is an afterthought. Which is cool, bhai is cool.Erotica on stage. Karan and Arjun make a great couple. Bhangda paale.
OMG! Babydoll won, finally this classic got it’s due!How many people do we give it up for man?Galiyaan has to win, it touches you in placesWhat places.Just…places.See it won!Nice work of introducing Best Actresses Alia. I like Alia, she looks like she’d be a nice bestie.How?You know the type who’d get cupcakes for no reason?Kamini Kaushal spoke so well!
Hi Fawad, marry me.
Why are they feeding pani puri to the stars? I’m starving now.Rekha is feeding Shahid pani puri!Poor Dr. Nene.
His face is like ‘I didn’t sign up for this shit!’Hahaha they’re taking money from him now, it’s always the NRIs that suffer.Rekha is a sport.
Salmaaaaan!*Hangover teri yaadon ka* everyone sings again!So my colleague Devanshi loves Yaar Na Miley so much, if it doesn’t play at a club or a party, she plays it at home.Wow.
I mean even after like 30 years they still pan the camera on Rekha whenever they announce Amitabh Bachchan!Who they?They. Those people.Mean people.I really don’t know how we’re friends.Listen, this Karan Johar is a proper Sindhi aunty haan.Tabu won! Totally deserved, she broke my heart in Haider.You sound intelligent, must be the rum.
Salman is being Salman on stage.Can he even be anyone except himself?Can he be anyone except being human?Hahahaha!Are you really going to blog this?Salman actually loves Shah Rukh.OH MY GOD HE DID THAT STEP!
Tanisha is trying to be relevant. Tan-Man #YouRemember?Mom and brother chip inWhat is Deepika wearing? It’s a ‘frock’ from ahead and a ‘gown’ from behind.She’s wearing a ‘frown’.Yes, I was adopted.
Told you, she’s damn awkward.She’s cool okay, I think they’re doing all this because Salman and Deepika might star together in Karan Johar’s Shuddhi!They do look good together.*On Aalia crying* That escalated quickly.
Don’t go Kapil!OMG! QUEEN.Vikas Bahl knows you know, he like understands women you know?He’s so humble.What a sweetie.
MOAR QUEEN!
Sonam is looking so happy for no reason.Kangana is someone I’ll marry.Yea, but will SHE marry you?Shahid had to win! I mean no one else had a chance.
He’s too cute. I’ll marry him.He won’t marry you bro.Why is Ranbir dancing again? He’s looking thin again.That’s enough of skinny-shaming.
What did YOU think about the 60th Filmfare Awards guys? Tell us in the comments below :)
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